I’ve always loved finding new inspirational quotes. I remember in college, back in the early days of online chat and communication (before Facebook, or even Myspace), that I used to love searching for quotes to put in my AIM profile, or to use as “away” messages. Yes, I’m a total nerd. Didn’t care then, don’t care now.
Even now, when I am having trouble finding my own words, I like to look for quotes to pull me out of my head. I haven’t posted for a copule days, and that was for a combination of reasons – it was the weekend, and we had a lot happening… but mostly, it’s because I’ve been struggling lately with EC, and it was honestly frying my brain. She’s 4, very dramatic, very emotional, and testing limits at every turn. Strategies that used to work are failing miserably, and I’ve lost my temper more times in the past week that probably in the year prior. These are the moments that I doubt myself as a parent, and I find it hard to write when I’m feeling that negative.
So here are a few quotes I’ve found recently that I hope are helping me out of my funk. Each one touched me in its own way, relating directly to how I’ve been feeling.
A mother who is really a mother is never free. ~Honore de Balzac
Is there really any moment in a mom’s life when you aren’t thinking about your kids? If you are a SAHM, you pretty much have to consider them in every minute decision of your day… because they’re always there with you. If you work outside the home, or your kids are in school, you’re still thinking about them, because, let’s face it, no one could possibly be taking as good care of them as you would be if they were with you, right?
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I want my children to fly. I try not to hover, because it just blocks their path. But I also want to make sure they know that I’m here… that they have roots to hold on to. My favorite moments are when we are out somewhere like the library, or playground, and they just run off and play with their friends for a while, then pop back to check in with me and get a snuggle, then go back to playing with their friends. I love seeing them so happy and secure.
Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum
I’m totally guilty on this one – repeating myself ‘til I’m blue in the face and insisting that EC acknowledge that she’s heard me. Kids don’t actually miss much. They see everything, and they hear even what you think they don’t. So just be how you want them to be, and try to be consistent.
Parents should not smoke in order to discourage their kids from smoking. A child is more likely to smoke when they have been raised in the environment of a smoker. ~Christy Turlington
Ok, I don’t smoke… but I love this quote because it you can substitute just about anything for “smoking”. If you want your kid to turn out a certain way, you can’t just tell them, you have to show them. Basically, just don’t be a hypocrite.
There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you’d be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature. ~Ayelet Waldman
I think everyone has a vision of what kind of parent they want to be when they have kids. But really, you can’t predict what kind of parent you’ll be any more than you can predict what your kid will be like. It’s great to have aspirations, but you have to mold your methods to the child. And if you have more than one child, you won’t and shouldn’t parent them exactly the same, because they’re different people.
What are your favorite parenting quotes?